The PA walks past me for the umpteenth time and says, “Well done my brother". My response, "thanks jare". "I'm used to waiting", I added with a smile. "Hmmm, I don't envy you o", she responded.
That remark prompts this write-up as I sit here waiting for my supposed client. And so, I draw my ‘Motorolla’ third screen out of my pocket and start working its keypad. Just in case you're wondering, I'm not a journalist. I play in the interactive multimedia space. Whatever that means, I just know it comes the easiest in describing what I do to people. A bit of explanations could help. See, I have a couple of interests and it's along those lines that I practice my profession. And since Information Technology is too wide a term to describe my job given it can mean anything from a photocopier or typist in a business center to one as eye catching as a network engineer (Telco style; I wish not! :-)). Anyway, enough of the background info. I practice between website development, programming and 2d animation. Before you ask for my portfolio, let's just say I'm a work in progress. As a start-up, I also double as a business developer. Oh, a financial analyst (ok, triple role) too. Oh, and a marketer (quadruple)... Wow, a dozen other roles I juggle amongst just keep popping up in my memory. Hmm, so now, I'm losing count of my roles and even more without the vocabulary to define its multiples.
So, this here is my 3rd hour of waiting. Yesterday had me waiting for 5 hours. And just as I type this on my third screen, I suddenly realize I could write an epistle on the times I've spent waiting since I got this calling to my game 4 years on. Phew...4 years seems ironically long or in some cases, just like yesterday: depends on the context. Nevertheless, it's rich in content with my experience playing a role.
Fiddling with my phone, gisting with fellow waiters, dozing off, chatting up etc. The preceding amongst a dozen things that we do while waiting. Here then, a bit of digression, "how has waiting changed over time"? Specifically, what was it like to wait hours in a reception before the advent of mobile devices in good old Naija? My best recollection is having to flip through newspapers or magazines where available. Oddly enough, some guests coming from the zanga (ghetto) have been known to avail themselves of rest rooms which offered more convenience than what they have at home. There've been many like this to kill time.
Anyways, back to the koko. When it's finally time to see big man, he barely spends micro fraction of what's been spent waiting. Okay, I'll do the mathematics. After all, I'm in that state again where I'm trying to kill time. So, here we go. Just to put this in context, I'll use a personal experience that's formed the theme or inspiration for some write-ups in the past.
Total time spent waiting: 11 hours. Wasn't at a go oooo. Nah! 5 hours on day 1 n 6 on day 2. The days ran consecutively though. And guess how much time oga had for me wen I was finally ushered in? 5 minutes! And believe me, that's a conservative figure! Or to be fair, maybe the horror (rumination exp of naijapreneur link*) that played out just happened too fast. Anyways, 5 minutes it was. So to d maths, "what's 5mins of 11 hours"? First, let's convert the units to seconds for uniformity. 60 seconds equals 1 minute thus 5 minutes equals 300 seconds. And 11 hours...if 60 seconds equals 1 minute and 60 mins equals an hour then 3600 seconds makes an hour. 11 hours is then 39,600secs. So finally, 300 seconds of 39600 seconds is...0.75 percent! Another way to interprete the comparison is to see my waiting time in the tens of thousands compared to the time afforded me in the hundreds! Yes o!
So, now it is clearly understandable why many settle for a more convenient call as captured by the PA's remark.
So ri (you see), emi ti gba calmu (I’ve accepted my fate). This is not one of those choices driven by conditions. Rather, a personal and conscious one that's never been a regret. Some things come with the territory that are jus simply beyond your control. And when they do come as irregular as they do, I live with them. Yeah, I'm forever mentally braced up for them. Why? Cos, it's the warp zones that come between the next pay-cheque as I have come to realize. Yeah! So, when I left home this morning, it was without doubt that I had my mind prepped up for the worse and the best. Worse being hours I'd have to spend waiting and best being, a successful outcome: green light, we have a deal, we're in business.
Want to know how I prep my mind? Well, it's as easy as keeping a positive mindset. Yeah! I mean, I don't recall ever going for a meeting with a prospective client to sell a product or service in a negative frame of mind. Nah! Rather, I usually am taking on role plays days or hours before as to how successful it'll play out. So, in a play that only has me playing multiple roles (Eddy Murphy style), I speak for me n for them. Yeah, my bias translates to positive responses from the client character: before nko!
Specifically, in my present situation, I have my mind on tonight's UEFA Champions League game. Yeah, a done deal is what I see so mind's on the after: relaxation. Yeah, swig of beer, grilled fish in front of a large screen with fans alike around under the open air. What's perhaps even ironic is that any deal or signed agreement doesn't automatically translate to remuneration even after much efforts and resources. Sorry if the game of entrepreneurship sounds a bit discouraging. It just is the truth. And in some cases, maybe partial remuneration. Full remuneration too :-). Hmm but come to think of it, it's a rarity a situation where one's paid in full. You have to squeeze out money for the PA and co. Well, that's if their entitlements (unspoken truth) isn't deducted already leaving you with the change. See mehn, I don't know if it’s peculiar to me but all of this dramas r what make for my fun too. Sometimes when I steal out time to relax, I think through situations like this dramas or perhaps when reading thru my old journals where I blog about this, I can't help the smiles.
But then, you just celebrate every phase. At least I do. I celebrate from the seeds to the harvest knowing everyone of them represent the ultimate reason I signed up for this: self-fulfillment. Yeah, this choice is the only one that has me expressing myself in diverse manners.
And what kind of person is that figure behind the thick iron doors separated from my by PAs? Well, it turns out he has a human face. There are different manners of big men. Some with human feelings I have encountered who offer apologies or explanations for keeping you waiting. Some perhaps too consumed with their own issues say nothing. In their mind’s eyes, they are even doing you a favour. In fairness, the latter probably never knew you'd been in waiting. But just to add. Which matters? The oga with human feeling who for all his niceties still doesn’t patronize you or the oga who despite his seeming lack of human feeling patronizes you? Just a thought. As in my recent experience where Mr Nice oga after much waiting, 3 demos translating to money, time and creative efforts still offered more nice talks and no deal. Jus something to ponder on. And to cap this up, there r indeed those who r both considerate and give deals.
Oh, lest I forget, big man's that individual that's independent of class, status or position. He is the customer.
Curious to know how this ended? Sorry, I'm still waiting...PA's yet to usher me in.