Maybe I'd simply become rusty. After all, I hadn't attended a conventional church service in a while. That's not the focus though. Rather, it's the raging contradiction that ironically chronicles nature's very own characteristic calls. I'd been seated for 2 hours when nature posed a tempting call: sleep. Yawning and twisting in my seat, I struggled to keep the call at bay while pricking my ears to make out the preachers words. A few times, I drifted off only to catch myself few minutes after with eyes staring at me. The pretty female usher that had caught my eyes as I stepped into the church early on stared at me with a look that suggested irritation. I barely smiled. Either she was ignorant of nature's unparalleled powers or she was above human. Even then, beauties like her are themselves nature's very own produce with unconscious calls for man to behold.
At one point, I looked around to observe my immediate environment. Alas! I was not alone; neither the worst nor the best as I was caught between both extremes. On the one, fully attentive members with eyes wide open and on the other, members enmeshed in deep slumber. I fell in between amongst the mediocre. What was I to do? This was nature calling. The feeling of guilt gave way as I pondered on this.
Excuses came to mind. Maybe it was the timing. The service was just too long: three hours and counting.
Perhaps, it was hunger? If so, wasn't it one of the reasons I was here? To cry unto God for today's equivalent of manna: government contracts, business deals, debtors’ change of heart etc. Besides, I’d gone to bed late but that’s because I was living by the paradigm of working hard even if it meant sacrificing hours of sleep. To my credit, I managed to wake up early enough to keep a date in the Lord's house. But now that the same external force calls in, it seemed similar to other calls like defecating. Who dictates the precedence? Who but the self?
Or was it simply the manner in which the preacher delivered his sermon? I'd seen better captivating displays of wit by men of God with evidence to show in human and material gains. If any, this one had a long way to go before attracting the audience that could fast-track his private jet. The risk of blasphemy flashed through my mind and I quickly retracted my words. Better the man of God be without blame than I risk the wrath of nature.
I stole a glance in Nneka’s direction and pictures of her figure eight played out on my mind only to be punctuated by the blaring speaker projecting the reading of Galatians 5 which talks about the lust of flesh. She’d coerced me to this church service and I couldn’t help the feeling of guilt as the passage was being read. Worse still, the preacher seemed to be staring directly at me as he spoke picking apart the words assertively. What a burden of contradiction with nature's very creation to deal with. In consolation, I surely could be excused for falling prey to these calls which seemed rather fair and harmless even though at the expense of paying attention to the ongoing service. Tales abound of people stealing and even fornicating in church. In this regard, my sin was debatably excusable. Then I recalled the words of Mathew 5:28 “...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” and quickly shook off the thoughts.
Again, my head lurched to the side as I danced to nature’s call. I was awaken by a call for offering. Wow! I wondered. What was it about offering times in modern day churches? Far from the dryness of the sermon, offering time was ushered in with a scintillating voice laced with carefully crafted Biblical readings that spoke of it as obligatory even against the backdrop of harsh economic realities. It’s simply called giving to God and where his name is invoked, the congregation dare not question. The preludes are carefully chosen and not a few have given out their last dimes after hearing such. I once gave out my transport fare only to realize the distance I had to cover to get home. In the end, I managed to hitch a ride with a stranger which had to be the Lord’s doing.
I glanced at my watch. Between my blurred sights, the hands seemed to have ground to a halt. I thought: this is a sign that nature's calling for a timeout. C'mon, another voice (presumably the good) said reminding me of how incomparable this was to the lengthy hours spent sitting through seminars and lectures, some at the expense of nature's very call. This couldn’t be any different. How about the hours spent waiting for big men in the name of securing favour or that spent waiting for Nneka during her rigorous time-consuming choir practices?
That being said, I could endure and endure I eventually did. As I staggered my way out of the auditorium with reddish watery eyes, I had a food for thought for others. “Before u castigate that man or lady drifting off in the midst of the sermon, think about this: Nature does indeed call all mortals”.
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